The quiet rumble of evening chatter in this half assed dive drones like some tainted, off-white noise covering the the edges of my broken thoughts.
One more drink to forget.
I stare at the empty seat across from me. You sat there once. You smiled and laughed and asked me to stay with you. You said you felt lucky I would even consider it.
It’s hard to fathom that the moment is just a shadow of a memory. That no remnant of it remains outside my splintered psyche. Even the energy of our chemistry has faded in the wake of a thousand hours since.
But I can see your face as clear as day. I can see you laughing, hear you say my name….
Even after this lifetime those passing moments are more real than this world around me. The faces of strangers are blurred compared to yours. Their voices a distant echo next to you melodic speech. Even the table under my shaking hands seems insubstantial when I remember your hand on my cheek.
And just that is enough to bring a torrent of other memories crashing into me. It feels like getting hit with bricks and I have to clutch my head against the pressure.
It passes after a moment and I sit back, drawing a rattling breath. I look back at the chair. I smile as I see you there again, even as some small part of my mind wonders how long I’ll court this haunting.
A question for tomorrow. Tonight I’ll indulge the grief and cling to the ghost of your memory. Another drink and another memory, clearer than reality.
One more drink to remember…