You should know I dont forgive you. The way you acted, what you said.
But I was wrong to be angry. You see, I’m learning. I’m learning that all in creation simply are what they are. And when you see as I see…to be angry that a being is what they are is insufferable. Some were born to endless delight, some were born to endless night. And in what can one damned soul judge another.
I dont hate you. I know who you are and why you did what you did. I even saw it coming. But my brush with humanity blinded me with hope. This, insane idealism that good could triumph and ego would fall.
For as long as I could remember, I’ve seen truth. The human soul, morality as fickle and fleeting as any speck of quantuam reality. We are nothing more than what we perceive. And you acted in perfect measure with that. I cant blame you.
I blame myself. God, the universe, fate, life. I was given a gift of sight. And I turned away when the vision was harsh. Painful. Real.
I began to believe the lie of hope. But hope is for the ignorant. It’s what they mean when they say ignorance is bliss. Hope. In a base goodness, selflessness, light.
It is why I am. There can be no light without shadow but I was born to illuminate. No one mentioned the devil I harbored in the shadow cast.
But it is perfect. Balance. For every light a shadow.
I dont know how it took me so long to see. So while I cant forgive you for what you did, I can recognize you only did it because of who you are. For every light a shadow.
The brighter the light…the deeper the shadow.
I wont forgive you. Who I am wont permit it. But I see it. And my anger was unjust.
You are what you were made to be. And your shadows are only as deep as your light is brilliant.
I fear what that means of my shadows.
So for now I will cover myself. Shield the world from me.
Your actions are your own, but still just a reflection.
I cannot forgive you. But I cannot blame you.
What are we but what we were made.
One day it will be different. But not now.
Heaven wont allow any different.
Peace. May your way be more bliss than mine.
Seeing truth is no blessing. But it is mine. And I will bear it. Til hell come.